Broken Manuscript

lies are words engraved in paragraphs. trenches dug deep. broken heart bruised mind so many questions very little answers far not enough time. months blow by she loves me beyond the most recent one replaced from my past. if I write words without tears her name would be at the top of the list. the last man she groomed for marriage, but me I may shake it off and head towards dating. her weakness is playing the hero. she commits not knowing all the future may hold but I tried to warn her regardless if what we agreed I guess she forgot what she was told. many storms and blue moons go by she still stands awaiting those words I have grown reluctant to speak. lives suddenly changed and temptation arrives one evening causing the urge to meet and greet someone new damn if she knew I had thoughts and desire to get to know you baby girl would be hurt. she caters to me and I love her,but I feel the urge to relive the honeymoon phase allowing the place I rest my head to be second and all kinds of shit to take 1st. I see her as annoying knowing shes only looking out for me. without no evidence she cries out hoping I would her pull close and say it is just me and you but I cant because till recently that would have been true. women and their damn intuition.feeling caged up needing freedom, but want all the cake and eat it to.......lost should I say fuck or play it cool.....damn she is balling again what should I do.....if shit was to go bad today she would have my back how can anyone fuck up something like that? consistently seeking instead of seeing the greatness that I already have now......i wont know until shes gone how will i ever fix that? is it possible to change how this story may end hell naw because I am thinking only for today and right now she is still right here and everything is still all about me.